Computerjargon.com

With the lack of a Macbook Pro update at the WWDC 2008 conference I was safe to march down to the Apple store and pick up a new computer. I have been holding off for months just in case Apple announced something at WWDC. With my fears subdued, I proudly took Riles to the store last night to get it.

I chatted with the kid with an eyebrow bolt for about 10 minutes. We discussed the merits of a matte vs. glossy screen. I thanked him for the suggestions and ordered up a Macbook Pro and Apple Care. Like all magic Apple store employees he whipped out his little handheld cash register, took my card, and swiped it…Then he swiped it again..and again. I told him that I typically have this problem with my card wearing down. He insisted it was the device and we walked to the back of the store to try the real cash register.

A few swipes later he looked up at me with a bit of shame and said, “I’m sorry sir, your card is declined.” Embarrassed, I tried to not look like an idiot backing out of the store. I told them that we have had problems with credit card theft in the past. Whether or not he believed me, I’m not sure, but I quickly ran out of the store and to the nearest lounge chair to figure out what went wrong.

After a 10 minute navigation of Chase’s phone menu I finally received a person. I explained the situation and asked why my card was declined. He informed me that no charges had been attempted on the card and that my line of credit should easily cover the purchase price. I felt a bit vindicated, but I was still short one Macbook Pro. I took Riles home and griped to Courtney about the whole ordeal.

Assuming Amazon.com would solve my credit card woes, I hopped online and ordered up the same thing, except with a delivery date of Thursday instead of “RIGHTFLIPPINGNOW”. I waited for the email receipt to come from Amazon so I could take it into work and be reimbursed for the computer. What I received instead of the receipt was a notification that Amazon was having troubles processing my card. In a fit of Macbook Rage I called Chase again to give them an earful.

This time, though, instead of getting the phone menu I received from the mall, I was dumped immediately into a payment verification process. I was informed that a large charge was pending against my account and would I like verify the charge. I pushed “2″ and hoped for the best.

So, the computer was flipping some sort of fraud monitoring process at Chase. In the long run I appreciate the security that the card provides, but it would have been nice if at the store instead of getting a decline message at the register, that the card company could inform the cashier to have me verify the purchase. Even better, Chase should send me a text message when I charge something and allow me to respond with validation.

I was out in the yard cutting up some old lumber when Courtney yelled to me, “You should come take a look at this bush!” She was staring at a shrub on our side yard. It’s near to the driveway and typically looks like hell. It’s in a spot which gets all the snow thrown on it during the winter months. It’s always been a little sad and depressed looking. I went back to cutting wood.

A few moments later Courtney repeated her call, this time saying, “You should hear the worms on this bush!” I was caught a bit off guard, so I went to survey the situation. Courtney pointed out to me these little things which were laying on the branches of the shrub. “Tent worms,” she told me, ” They’re everywhere on the bush.” Sure, I thought, “Everywhere…” But as I looked closer I realized that she wasn’t exaggerating at all. These things were everywhere.

That’s when she said, “Listen to them…” We hushed and listened. I could hear the crackling of these things destroying our bush. It sounded like Rice Crispies in milk. It was utterly disgusting and creepy.

I went back to cutting wood while Courtney went inside to look for any sort of treatment online. She found a few sites which suggested killing one of them in front of the others, which would scare the others away. Or picking them off and putting them in a burlap bag. These options were nice, but a little more humane than I was hoping. I drove to Home Depot to find something a little more potent.

I found an insecticide which specifically worked with tent worms/caterpillars. It is a concentrate so I need to purchase a sprayer as well. I’ve always thought sprayers were for old farts with nothing better to do than walk around their yard obliterating the most minute annoyances. Now, I am that old guy.

When I began spraying the bush, I kid you not, the bush moved on its own. Leaves seemed to curl up, shunning away from the sprayer. With every motion the bush seemed to fight back, moving a bit in a different direction. The truth was that these tent worms realized what was happening and were quite pissed about it. They were crawling and agitated. I was grossed out.

I checked on the progress of the death spray. I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that these things might still be crawling around our bushes. I went outside to find small piles of the worms laying underneath the bush. Victory was mine!

As I stood up I noticed ants starting to carry the carcasses away. I thought about cleaning up the dead bodies so the ants might go away but then I figured nature would take it’s course.

Congrats and best wishes go to Mike and Jennie who welcomed their Daughter, Kaylee, into the world this weekend! The fun is only beginning…

It’s been too long since I’ve posted last, but honestly nothing all too exciting has been happening. Riley has been keeping us on our toes this spring. Every waking moment he’s telling us that he wants to go “out-si” == outside. When we went in for his 18 month checkup the doctor asked me how many words Riley knew. I thought about it for a second and said, “6″. The doc gave me a funny look and said he should easily know 10-20 by now. So I started counting again and came up with 12 easily. He said they didn’t even need to be actual words, but some sort of gibber-gabber that we understood the meaning of.

So here’s my attempt at a translation table between Riley-speak and English:

Every day Riley tells us something new. We just hold our breath every time and hope it’s not a curse word.

I’ve made no secret about my love of coffee. My coffee snobness has gotten so bad that I can no longer drink the coffee at work and must purchase a dark roast from the local coffee chain every morning.

For the last 9 months after dropping of Riley I head over to the Dunn Bros. near daycare. Every morning I order a large dark roast and I pay with my credit card. Most mornings I run into the barista, Aaron. We don’t say much to each other. I place my order, he gets me my coffee. Most mornings the moment my car rolls into the parking spot my coffee is ready.

On the mornings that a new person is working the counter I get asked if I want their punch card frequent buyer card. I always turn them down citing that my wallet is already large enough. Every once in awhile Aaron will give me a free coffee “just because.” And every once in awhile I’ll drop in a $5 dollar tip in for the good service.

So this morning I roll up to Dunn Bros. like I do every morning. As I walk in the store I grab for my wallet. Unfortunately all I grab is my ass, there is no wallet. After losing my wedding band (a story for a different day) I’m a little nuts about my things. I panic, wondering if I’d dropped it at the gym last night. I hightail it back to the car to give Courtney a buzz.

While this is happening I notice the daily routine of my coffee being poured inside. I felt bad but I was going to need to blow off Dunn Bros. this morning. I just didn’t have the money.

As I waited for Courtney to pick up her cell phone one of the baristas walked out to my car and handed me my daily coffee. I looked at her and thanked her and explained my situation. She said it was on the house anyways. While a free cup of coffee isn’t an extraordinary  gesture, I appreciated the fact they went so far as to walk it out to my car.

Aaron and his cohorts are good folk. If you’re ever looking for coffee in the morning, I’d head over to Dunn Bros. in Maple Grove.

Let me get you up to speed on our life, as it stands today:

Courtney and I went to Cancun in February with Chad and Tina. It was probably the single greatest time that we’ve had in a very long time. Here’s the proof that we were there, and here’s me swearing off booze and Mexico. When in downtown Cancun, I would highly recommend La Habichuela. We had quite an excursion trying to find our way to the restaurant but it proved well worth the adventure.

I have recently been rolled off my first consulting engagement and was quickly put on a “tweener” project, something to keep me busy while a more permanent engagement was arranged. In the beginning I was quite reluctant about the short-term project. I was told that I was supposed to be a hired gun for some legacy VBA work in Excel, both of which I have little to no experience with. I was told that I needed to put on a good show because if all went well, I would be a good “foot in the door” for other projects. Now, over the course of my career I’ve heard this excuse uttered hundreds of times but this was really my first experience with the “foot” working. I cranked out the project for the client quickly and successfully. They were so happy with the work that they promised future engagements. w00t!

Now, for Riley. As it stands today he’s just passed 17 months old. He has entered toddler mode fully, which means just about everything with him is a struggle. When he laughs, he laughs long and hard. When he’s frustrated he throws himself on the ground in a tantrum as only a Motylinski/Angerer offspring could. He’s more fun then I ever thought he would be. But he’s also mind-numbingly infuriating a the same time. He’s beginning to talk, so we can rationalize with him in a small way. He loves being outside. A few times we’ve caught him running out he side door, which he can open without trouble. We spend the majority of our time trying to keep him entertained. Sadly, he’s not one for spending lazy afternoons coloring. He’s more the type to go splash in a puddle or the dogs’ water bowl.

Lots of stuff going on in life to update you about. But until I find the time to actually document it all, check these out:

Coolest

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Coolest-est

We were put on notice today that Riley will be moving up from the infant daycare room to the toddler daycare room. I realized that while the transition for him might be tough, it may be harder on me.

For the last 12 months I have taken Riley to daycare in the morning. Every day I say good morning to Carol and chit chat about the weather. We discuss what we did for the weekend and she might mention how long Riley’s hair is, in an obvious reference to our lack of parenting. Many mornings Riley runs up to Carol to greet her and begin the morning Cheerios routine. The other morning he came in and hugged her leg. She smiled and commented on how hard it is to see kids like Riles grow up and leave the room.

For most of his time at daycare Riley has been the gentle giant of the room. He’s been a big kid all his life and his classmates have been mostly girls. He stands out in the room. He’s the tallest, biggest kid around. Now, he’ll be in a group of even bigger kids where he is just one of many “big guys”. Riles has never been a violent kid. He’s never bitten anyone but has taken his fair share of being bitten. I worry that the change in classmates will force Riley to act out in ways we aren’t used to.

It’ll be tough for the next few weeks. All of the sudden the $50-a-week savings doesn’t seem worth it. I’d rather Riley continue to stay who he is. But, I know if there’s one thing that is certain it’s that he will grow up.

Over the weekend we noticed yet another obvious change in Riley. He started mimicking our habits. In the past he’s found a rag and started wiping up the floor, a common occurrence in our house with a child and 3 dogs. But this weekend he started doing more complex tasks.

We were watching television last night when Riley picked up a dog bowl and walked to the stairs. He proceeded to bang on the gate until I opened it for him. He crawled downstairs (I carried the dog bowl for him), went into the laundry room, and pointed to the dog food containers. Riley wanted to feed the dogs. The problem was, the dogs had already eaten for the evening. Not wanting to start WWIII, I helped him fill the dog bowl and carry it back upstairs. Once upstairs he poured some of the food into Dottie’s bowl, some on the floor for Joe (Accidentally of course), and gave the rest to Sydney. It was cute and he was quite proud of himself when he finished.

Then this morning as I was shaving Riley carried one of my clean sweaters into the bathroom, pointed to the clothes chute, and threw my sweater down the chute. I bit my tongue on the clean clothes part because he was so happy to be helping.

Next up, I need to teach him to lay tile.

Looks like Courtney will be getting an iPhone shortly too.

UPDATE:  Courtney turned down the new phone offer mentioning that we’d be better off replace my lost wedding band before she gets a new phone. Sometimes her logic baffles me.